Letting Go–Focus on Jesus

Sir. 2:1-11; Mk. 9:30-37
Today has been long, i have cooked, finally got the futon, had a meeting for the Tenderloin Street Fair, and had lunch with Mary. The meal was excellent tonight. People were great. I will make an outreach run, but going to bed early because tomorrow is Ash Wednesday.
The Scripture today is about the disciples of Jesus. They were discussing which among them was the greatest. In other words they still did not get it that Jesus was telling them of his own suffering and impending death, and they were comparing themselves with each other, trying to work out who was the greatest, the most important among them. In the first century, children were especially regarded as unimportant. They had no power or status, and were not considered full persons–really not much different than today, despite our efforts to say otherwise. Thus to embrace a child publicly was to embrace one who was insignificant, unimportant. In contrast to the disciples discussion about who was their greatest, Jesus characterized greatness when he befriended the insignificant child. Just as children recognize their own insignificance, following Christ and denying ourselves involves becoming insignificant for his sake. It is often hard for me to accept my insignificance, because I want to be remembered, praised, but most important live on beyond death in the memory of others. But ultimately no matter how famous anyone is, they are insignificant. And so for me is letting Jesus be first–that is the meaning of this passage–he is the significant one, and in him we are all significant. We are called to be insignificant to him, to let him be the first. So for me it is putting aside my own ego, accepting my own insignificance and letting Jesus be all in all.

I am starting the spiritual exercises for Lent. Listened to an introduction tonight and two things came out for me: first true freedom is moving forward with indifference, not worrying about the future. In many ways I am doing that, and I have experienced a lot of freedom, but I always pull back, and so one of my goals is to cultivate that indifference, to truly be free to serve; and a second thought from the presentation is that prayer is “wasting time with God.” People often tell me they do not have time to pray. They find it difficult to understand how I find time two or three times a day. And so I am going to waste more time with God, to spend time with him in prayer. Deo Gratis! Thanks be to God!