Stereotyping and Bullying

 

Stereotypes and Bullying

“F-E-A-R has two meanings:

Forget everything And Run

or

Face Everything and Rise

The choice is yours”

There is a story of a man in Northern Missouri who bullied people in a small town for many years. He could be charming, and when a person would not give him what he wanted he would use stereotypes such as calling him “old” “lazy”,  “faggot”,  “nigra”, and so on, and run the person down until he gave in, and than walk away ashamed, he shamed him through stereotypes and used stereotypes as a means of separating himself from the person and not see the person   as a human being.

He would hit people or threaten them.He would cut them off  half-way in a conversation when the person disagreed with him and ultimately reject the person.

One  day in broad daylight, in the middle of the street, he was murdered, and to this day no one has ever been arrested.

One young United Methodist minister, new to the town was the only clergy who would have his funeral and  minister to the family, the rest were afraid. From that experience that young minister learned two things.

First to withhold judgment, to treat every one equally, for it is God’s place to judge, and to serve the living;

Secondly to never tolerate bullies.

“F-E-A-R has two meanings:

Forget everything And Run

or

Face Everything and Rise

The choice is yours”

Bullying comes in many forms. Withdrawing support when one  does not get one’s way; being unwilling to listen, simply to shut the person down, unless one gets one’s  way;  negative gossip; stereotyping: labeling a person old, a faggot, a nigra, a dim wit, a dumb ass, and so on. It comes in always  having to have  the last word, regardless of whether we are right or wrong, in controlling relationships, and the living habits of people, it come in not letting people be who they are.

We  deal with that person, and the bullying  by facing our own fears, our  own need for their approval, our own loneliness and neediness, and rising and simply saying “No”, and then walk away saying good bye. If a person continues to come than we fight, and we fight hard,win or lose.  If they threaten to walk away–we say “goodbye”. We never tolerate being put down, or threatened again. Loneliness ends when we learn to love ourselves, and loving one’s self starts by standing up for one’s self, and than move into loving others.

We can love the person with all of our heart,but when they hurt us, knowing they hurt us, it is time to let go, and say good bye,  and when through the grace of Jesus Christ they change, we can talk and enter into a new relationship, but we also must know that the chances are few and far between for those changes to occur , so we move on, kicking the dust off our feet, into a new life.

Dr. River Damien Sims

P.O. Box 642656

San Francisco, CA 94164

415-305-2124

http://www.temenos.org

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