Cooking With the Fallen One’s

Cooking With the Fallen One’s”

Making Way for Something New!–Andrew

Luke 5:1-11

“They left everything and followed him!”

Last night I talked to “Andrew”, a 19 year old college student. He hustles on Craig’s List for a “daddy”, and I asked him, “Why exactly do you want a “daddy” when you have everything given to you by your parents? He replied, “It relieves the boredom and gifts and money numb my feelings, and I get my dick sucked.” Andy talked about being so lonely since he has gotten out of high school–friends in college are preoccupied, don’t talk, and he has no one close..

Andy is every man, he is all of us. I have been struggling with depression and self doubt.  Someone made a quaint remark how Jesus “comforts you.” And my thought was “bull shit”.  Like Mother Teresa I have sloughed through my ministry–full doubt, lack of faith, centered in the hope that Christ is there, because he makes more sense than drugs, and working with people brings wholeness in my life.  To think that I have everything, and have it together–well forget about it, there are days I simply get up, say the Office, and work my ass off, simply to survive. The major reason I will  never retire is that my life would be hell–I have to stay busy.   As a kid filled with hope, and enthusiasm I left “everything and followed him,” with no regret, but doubts, fear, all go with the territory.

The effects of the malaria, the various wounds, bring me face to face with the Angel of Death.  And what gives me meaning is in simply listening to people, knowing that it brings hope and comfort.  Money, and physical items never bring comfort–but giving our lives away brings us into oneness with our brothers and sisters. 

People comment I am too generous, and see their spirituality in “believing in Jesus”, and what I believe, and have found in these years is that the more we give away, the more we receive. Jesus is not found in the sky–but in the giving of ourselves to others. He becomes incarnate in loving others.  For I have found that money, prestige, all are passing, they slip through our fingers, but loving,giving, and sharing is what we have for eternity. Deo Gratias! Thanks be to God!

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+Fr. River Damien Sims, sfw, D.S.T., D.Min.

P.O. Box 642656

San Francisco, CA 94164

http://www.temenos.org

415-305-2124

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I never use real names, and I always check with people, if they are still living and present, if I write about them. Few object.

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