Cooking With the Fallen One’s Ryan

Cooking With

Live your questions now, and perhaps even without knowing it, you will live along some distant day into your answers. Rainer Maria Rilke
Read more at: https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/r/rainer_maria_rilke.html

the Fallen One’s–Ryan

Matthew 16:21-27

“Live your questions now, and perhaps even without knowing it, you will live along some distant day into the answers.” Rainier Maria Rilke

I live out many questions, and most remain unanswered, but several have been answered. First it is in giving my life away as Jesus challenges us in our Gospel today, that one c finds life; in the pain, the conflict, the hatred, the not caring attitudes–giving one’s life leads to new life, and joy. Sitting around thinking intellectually, staying in our own little tribes, are destructive, but moving out, giving it all away is life giving; secondly, all that matters is that we love each other without judgment, to meet each other where we are, laying judgment based on age, color, creed, sexual orientation, but but as children of God, respecting our humanity, and third, all of life is God’s, and all of life is to be respected.

Yesterday I was wearing a Pride cap, passing out water, and a tourist, commented in my hearing to his wife, look their is a “fag”;  I was simply wearing a hat, and their was a judgment placed, and as I heard that I thought  of Ryan in the photo.

Ryan is 21, and I have known him since he was 17. When I first met him he was attractive, charming, young guy, but as he struggled with moving from a male to female, being a transgender, he sunk deeply into drug use. He was so high one time he tried to stab me with a knife, not knowing who I was. Ryan has been beaten, raped, and tormented verbally in this great City of ours–I can imagine what it was like in the town from whence he came, and by his parents who will have nothing to do with him. Ryan is living the question, and he is dying from that question.

As he has sunk into drug use people criticize and judged him for his addiction, his drug use; and I look at myself, and think of the times I would like to drown my pain out with drugs, it would be so easy, –but have chosen to live cold turkey into the pain–because I have hope.  I have a place to live,  an education, and a stubbornness to tell the world to go to hell, Ryan is only a kid, a questioning kid, with nothing, so what else does he have?  Judge him –forget that, he deserves no judgment, only love.

I have put my arm around his shoulders, held his hand, let him cry on my shoulders, washed and bandaged his wounds, and to me he is simply a child of God.  I am a child of God, nothing more, nothing less. And what I know, what I believe, and am giving my life for is the hope that ultimately God will raise all of the Ryan’s up and bring healing from the pain by which they are afflicted. That question remains to be answered, and one that will not be answered in my life time, but we can hold the hope.

“Live your questions now, and perhaps even without knowing it, you will live along some distant day into the answers.” Rainier Maria Rilke

To live the question removes all judgment and gives hope for life, and allows us to be open in our questioning.

+Fr. River Damien Sims, sfw, D.Min., D.S.T.

P.O. Box 642656

San Francisco, CA 94164

415-305-2124

http://www.temenos.org

 

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