In This Light

In This Light

“I came into the world so that everyone who believes in me might not remain in darkness”

This past day is lost to me.  In the afternoon a young girl offered me some water, and foolishly I drank it, and than she said, “prepare for the ride”. the ride I found out was LSD.  I was in the hospital from 4 p.m. until 1:00 a..m. tripping. Not a good trip, not fun,stupid blunder on my part. It ruined a birthday dinner for a friend, who faithfully stood by me.

But at the heart of this experience was the presence of Christ, I felt him there, probably laughing at me, but still there. During the time of simply going in and out- I had two telephone calls. Both wanted someone to listen to them, and so I did, and I gave one an absolution, but it dawned on me that this is what I do-=I listen, I am a pastor pure and simple. I frankly don;t remember who called, or what they said, but I listened.  And suffering this afternoon brought me to recommitting myself to walking with any one who needs me in the night, in the day. In this society of social media people desperately want the human touch and contact.  They are desperate to hear the word of hope in

Christ.

Finally I relived intensely the experience where I was raped last summer, a rape done to stop me from testifying in a trial which I testified in, and the young man was freed. That rape has colored my year, it has haunted me. Therapy has helped little, and as I relived that night again, I came for the first time to understand it as a part of the crucifixion we go through when we follow Christ. I remember the young man asked several weeks after the trial: “would u do it again?” and I said, “Absolutely.”

I have been told that when I share some parts of my experience in ministry I scare people, to keep things back–no more–screw that. You get it unfiltered  Ministry hurts, it hurts like hell, it is scary as hell,  but in that hurting comes resurrection.

This is what ministry is for me–giving my life away, that is the call of ministry to all of us. Get our hands dirty, suffer crucifixion and in that crucifixion you find resurrection.

So maybe this was not a waste after all. Deo Gratias! Thanks be to God!

Temenos Catholic Worker

P.O. Box 642656

San Francisco, CA 94164

415-305-2124

Fr. River Damien Sims

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