Salt and Tears

Gen. 19:15-29  Matt. 8:23-27  “Salt and Tears”  St. Emma

Last night I  sat with a one of my guys who is sick with chronic bronchitis at General, I was dozing off, and one of the doctors jokingly commented, “if we did not know better we would think you were his dad,” and I laughed, and said, “you use to call me their brother, soon it will be grandfather,” and he laughed.  I remember studying a story in college “Goodbye Mr. Chips” about an English college professor during World War II. It took us through the years to his retirement and he sat in a chair on the lines of a their soccer field reflecting on his time there.  They were the only kids he had.  I thought of that during Pride as I talked to the young kids at Pride, I think of that story as I hang out with my kids. That is the role I am moving towards. And like Mr. Chips I have no regrets, for I have touched the lives of thousands upon thousands of young people. I am ill, running chills and fever, tests are being run, and in the middle of my fever and its breaking I often wonder if it was all worth it, laying here alone. Than I see my buddy on the street who is dying, and look into the eyes of Jake in the hospital, knowing he will stay with me for several days after he gets out having no where to go, and know it is worth it and more. All I have ever been is a pastor, since I was 16 years old, even as a prostitute like it or not I was a pastor, that is my call, and to pastor for me is to give my life a way. Like the velveteen rabbit I am being rubbed bare–and that is the call of all us.

For we can choose to be like the woman in our story from Genesis looking back, not wanting to leave, wanting her past back or we can choose the Jesus of the Gospel’s who tells the storms “Peace be still”,” we can choose death or life.  I choose life.

In the last few years I have become more and more aware of how we are consumed with technology. I sat down with a “mature friend”–yesterday for lunch, and she had to check her texts and call her neighbor because the woman wanted to use her pool. I do not check my phone when I am with some one, they get my total attention. The following poem from David Alben sums it up for me–we need to look at each other, give time to each other.

This is well worth reflecting on:


“We’re able to interact with thousands of people around the world with a device in the palm of our hands, yet we’re having a hard time listening to the person right in front of us.

Look around you, everything everywhere is constantly fighting for your attention. There always seemed to be something beeping, something notifying, compelling us to do something.

It’s an exhausting rhythm of perpetual input. It follows us into our homes, into our beds, into our minds, and into our souls.

This leaves us with trivial time for rest, self-reflection, personal spiritual growth, and deep connection with others.”

Deo Gratias! Thanks be to God!



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