Living On the Thin Line–the In Be Tween

“Living in the In between–Living on the Thin Line”

Matt. 6:34: “Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.”

I remember growing up a good friend commented that “River is always trouble..” And what he meant in his own adolescent way was that I never conformed. I lived on the thin line, in the in between. Through the years I have tried to conform but it has always gotten me really into trouble, and is deadening to my life.

I live on a thin line, I live in between, I do not fit in, and what I have learned it has been the greatest blessing given to me, because in not fitting in, in living on the thin line living in the in between I am able to see all sides, to size situations, people, ideas up, and to be non-judgmental, and to touch the lives of people from various walks of life.

A favorite term used in psychology to describe particularly youth who do not fit in is that they are “feral’–wild and unmanageable.  Last night a nineteen year old, whom I will call “Z” was told that at a local agency, and that he was impossible to work with. He is a kid who is transgender but can not afford  the services to transition, a heroine user, and he was crying because he felt like he had been thrown out to the wolves.  We went “tagging” and we talked, and I shared with him how I had been told I was “feral”, and how I see it as a gift, for I am still wild, but I have learned to manage that feralness use it in the service of others.  I shared with him how I am usually totally exhausting after spending time with my “straight”- friends–the people who are comfortable in the black and whiteness of the culture, and that is why I am good with the street people and why I feel comfortable being with him and hanging with him, for we understand one another.

We put our “labels’ on people; we want them to fit into the square holes rather than appreciate the differences and our labels are death dealing. For me living on the thin line–the in between–is what Jesus is talking about in the Gospel, with total trust in him:

“Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.”

Deo Gratias! Thanks be to God!

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